Just Jump In
The day was sticky and lazy. We sat gabbing all day, my decade-dance-friend and I. It was decadent, deserved.
Between half-assed yoga stretches and small portions of oatmeal, we gabbed about him, his taste in vintage shirts, and all the things I was thinking days after the last conversation we had, in which I had told him how intrigued I had become, and to be clear with me—don’t string me along.
“This is really all about you,” she said, a gentle challenge to face my fear; to recognize how I loved the stalling. Of course I would cling to the idea of someone like this.
This is safe.
You know that woo-woo saying that everyone in your life is a reflection of your inner world and the relationship you have with yourself?
Well, two years ago when my husband of 8 years finally came out of the closet and left me, my excuse not to move on was totally rational; I’m too shook up. Two years later, it was finishing my degree. Now, on the other side of my degree and my divorce, I’m dipping my toes in the pool and my friends are shrugging at me from the deep end and their encouraging smiles are starting to drop.
The excuses are no longer rational, and neither are these men.
Every now and then, it’s important to note exactly what you’re attracting and adjust your own frequency accordingly if you don’t like what you see in ‘the mirror.’
I know the plunge will be cold, but invigorating. Because I’m hot… so hot. My body is thirsty for submersion. I want to feel bubbles crawling between the hairs on my head.
My cells are keen to throw off the shackles of emotional poison and roll around on dirty carpets and skin my knees and rasp my lungs jogging.
Sometimes the healthiest thing to do is to get a little sloppy. Make the requisite bad decisions to get it over with, laugh at yourself, hug yourself, give yourself a slap on the ass and say, girl you got this—let’s jump in again.
There is an elegant way to live life, but elegance is most poetic when it emerges from the ashes of ignorance.
Then, it is triumphant. Then, it is Pygmalion.
Thank your mirrors.
When someone tells you who they are, respect Maya Angelou’s hard-earned wisdom and believe them the first time.
Be smart, be sexy, and just jump in.
Post was written May 20, 2018. Found and posted today…enjoy.
